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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22595659">Kyphon's Knife</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ringtheory/pseuds/ringtheory'>ringtheory</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Gen, M/M, Open to Interpretation, Retelling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:29:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,063</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22595659</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ringtheory/pseuds/ringtheory</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dimitri doesn’t come back from Duscur. A double who has replaced him does instead. Nobody seems to notice this except Felix. Or perhaps it is that nobody else but Felix <i>wishes</i> to notice it. When he points to the double and whispers into his father’s ear, “But that’s not Dimitri” – all his father does is close his eyes and sigh.</p><p>Felix knows it isn’t Dimitri because Dimitri’s eyes are a brighter blue than that. And Dimitri’s hair is a more golden shade of blond. But of course the most damning fact is that looking at this double does not make Felix want to smile; if anything, looking at him does not make Felix feel anything at all. </p><p>The absence of emotion abruptly morphs into fear and foreboding. A terrible mistake has been made, Felix thinks to himself. Dimitri is still waiting in Duscur to be saved.</p><p>“It’s not him,” Felix says, more urgently this time. He tugs at his father’s sleeve which he knows his father dislikes – but it’s urgent.</p><p>His father replies, “Felix. Allow a miracle to be a miracle. <i>Please.</i>” </p><p>So Felix bites his tongue. But he does not change his mind.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>178</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Kyphon's Knife</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dimitri doesn’t come back from Duscur. A double who has replaced him does instead. Nobody seems to notice this except Felix. Or perhaps it is that nobody else but Felix <em>wishes</em> to notice it. When he points to the double and whispers into his father’s ear, “But that’s not Dimitri” – all his father does is close his eyes and sigh.</p><p>Felix knows it isn’t Dimitri because Dimitri’s eyes are a brighter blue than that. And Dimitri’s hair is a more golden shade of blond. But of course the most damning fact is that looking at this double does not make Felix want to smile; if anything, looking at him does not make Felix feel anything at all.</p><p>The absence of emotion abruptly morphs into fear and foreboding. A terrible mistake has been made, Felix thinks to himself. Dimitri is still waiting in Duscur to be saved.</p><p>“It’s not him,” Felix says, more urgently this time. He tugs at his father’s sleeve which he knows his father dislikes – but it’s urgent.</p><p>His father replies, “Felix. Allow a miracle to be a miracle. <em>Please.</em>”</p><p>So Felix bites his tongue. But he does not change his mind.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Felix’s hypothesis 1: Dimitri was replaced before leaving for Duscur.</p><p>This is a comforting possibility. It increases the likelihood that Dimitri is somewhere in the Kingdom. Felix is young but he has more chances to travel than most of his age. If Dimitri were being hidden in the eastern Kingdom then Felix might hear something of it when he goes between Fhirdiad and Fraldarius, or when he visits Galatea and Gautier.</p><p>If Dimitri is elsewhere, Felix still has his ways to carefully listen for rumors. When his father takes him to high-society gatherings, Felix hears all sorts of things. In fact, often he hears much more than his father does or his older brother did. He knows it must be because he looks even younger than he is – his face is still pleasantly round with baby fat and his voice has yet to drop. If somebody says something secret or salacious or seditious before realizing Felix is there, all he has to do is smile slightly then say, “I suppose I don’t understand grown-up talk yet, I have much to learn” and all is well.</p><p>Felix hates those parties but for Dimitri, he can tolerate them.</p><p>The problem with this hypothesis is that Felix saw Dimitri the day before he left for Duscur due to Glenn being a part of the royal retinue. Felix has confidence that the Dimitri he saw at that time was the true and only Dimitri. Therefore the opportunity to replace Dimitri while he was still in the Kingdom was slim.</p><p>Still – it doesn’t hurt to keep his ears to the wind on the off chance that a gossiping breeze will bring hope, no matter how small that hope is.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Several months pass before Felix crosses paths with the double. In the time between meetings, the double seems to have become more convincingly like Dimitri, which strikes Felix as an incredibly odd thing. When Felix thinks of what Dimitri should look like – he sees Dimitri with wide eyes and slight shoulders. When they stand next to each other, their gazes should exactly meet. To Felix these are features necessary though not sufficient to be Dimitri.</p><p>But the double has grown taller and broader than Felix. He has cut his hair shorter and his brow never seems to unfurrow entirely. Felix did not think this is what Dimitri’s appearance would be like at age fourteen – yet something about him seems incredibly Dimitri-like despite the fact that not a single one of Felix’s expectations were met.</p><p>The meeting is at a small party for a minor noble daughter’s social debut. Felix only attends because he happens to be in Fhirdiad with his father – he has no choice but to shadow his father’s footsteps these days. He’d gladly bargain the power of being an inheritor away for the freedom of being the passed-over son but these matters are of duty, not agency.</p><p>Felix is willful but tries not to be juvenile. It would be one thing to let his father down. It would be another altogether if the history books wrote that Felix Hugo Fraldarius, thrust unexpectedly into taking on the title of Duke Fraldarius after the untimely passing of his older brother, oversaw the end of a noble house and bloodline.</p><p>The mere possibility of that future makes Felix fear that an afterlife exists. If there is one – and if everything went wrong – then what would his ancestors say to him?</p><p>What would Glenn say to him?</p><p>So he absorbs as much as he can from following his father in his tasks and he forces himself to go to these events – because he is not juvenile or because he is scared of his legacy or because those two truths about him are sides of the same coin.</p><p>Felix makes a point of showing his face to the debutante without saying or doing anything that could indicate that he has any more interest in giving her anything more than the courtesy of extending his congratulations. The young lady is not inelegant but naiveté flows off of her in waves that threaten to wash Felix away. She steps too far forward into the conversation, unaware of the boundaries she should not cross, and Felix is forced to brook a hasty retreat.</p><p>His escape route exposes his back to the double. Being a double, Felix supposes it is in his nature to stab at people when they least expect it.</p><p>“Oh, Felix, good evening,” the double says.</p><p>Felix replies cautiously, “Your Highness. Good evening.”</p><p>The double laughs politely. “Why are you calling me that? Haven’t we been friends since before we could even speak?” he asks.</p><p>“I don’t know. Have we?” Felix answers.</p><p>“So I see that Rodrigue’s words were true,” the double says. He lowers his gaze to the floor, almost ruefully, and glances at Felix through his eyelashes. The act is almost demure – far coyer than the lady of the evening was.</p><p>Felix did not let his guard down for her, a presumably real person. So of course he cannot let his guard down in front of an imposter. The coyness is deliberate, Felix is certain of it, and the next time he accidentally exposes his back maybe a poison-coated blade will slice through the cage of bones protecting his heart.</p><p>The double continues: “He told me you don’t believe I’m me… I wasn’t sure what to make of it.”</p><p>Nor does Felix. He quickly considers if he should make his stance clear or if there would be a benefit to playing it down as a strange whim, the kind of inexplicable thought that the grieving are likely to be struck down by.</p><p>As Felix thinks, the double continues, “I know I must seem… different to you. But I have not changed – fundamentally. Not fundamentally.”</p><p>“You hesitated,” Felix replies immediately. The moment the double’s voice caught was enough for Felix to make up his mind: he will stand firm. </p><p>The double smiles but haplessly. “You seem different from how you once were as well,” he says.</p><p>“It’s not the same thing,” Felix tells him brusquely. “I am me. You are… not you.”</p><p>“You really cannot bring yourself to believe it’s me, then?” the double asks. There is a certain lisp of sadness to his enunciation of the words that almost convinces Felix that the sentiment could be genuine. </p><p>Felix lets his silence speak instead of his words.</p><p>The double sighs. Felix is careful to not allow himself the temptation of being convinced it is a show of genuine sorrow.</p><p>“Perhaps,” the double says, “someday I will be able to convince you.”</p><p>Perhaps someday the sun will rise from the other side of the horizon. Perhaps someday the land will part and reveal an entirely different civilization underneath. Perhaps someday the living will disappear and the dead will take their place. Perhaps someday the goddess will be reincarnated unto the people. Perhaps someday Felix will live to see a double of Dimitri be crowned a king.</p><p>Felix doesn’t write any possibilities out due only to absurdity. What seems absurd might upon discovery of its truth be regarded in retrospect as genius.</p><p>“Don’t deign to believe you can convince me easily. I think for myself,” Felix says.</p><p>“That you do,” the double replies. “Anyway, I hear that you’ve been appointed a squire… Maybe the battlefield will be a good place for me to prove myself.”</p><p>In response to that Felix takes a step away, careful not to turn around entirely. Then he takes another few steps back all while keeping the double within vantage. Only when he has the cover of other partygoers safely about him does their repartee ends.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A list of physical evidence from Felix’s perspective that Dimitri has been replaced follows.</p>
<ol>
<li>The potential double’s hair is as if the color has been siphoned from it. When looking at the way that light shines off of his hair, it does not give the impression that he is a descendent of the King of Lions – less vibrant, too pale.<br/>
<br/>
</li>
<li>Additionally, his hair appears less soft than Felix remembers it being.<br/>
<br/>
</li>
<li>His eyes have a flatter shade and their shape is narrower.<br/>
<br/>
</li>
<li>Almost all of his mannerisms have changed. The potential double moves with a distinct sense of stiffness that the true Dimitri should not have. It is as if the potential double is attempting to act out how he knows Dimitri is but the performance is unconvincing. One does not see the character he is trying to play, only an actor upon the stage of the world.</li>
</ol><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Felix is not certain what the nature of a double is. He knows a few folklore tales about them but for obvious reasons, he doesn’t have a bank of factual information to draw upon. The most likely theory he has is that a double wishes to replace their original. If they are pseudo-human enough then perhaps they have a distaste for amoral behavior, the same way that real humans do. If that is the case, it becomes more probable that Dimitri is still alive. There is no need to kill Dimitri to replace him, only to prevent him from returning home.</p><p>This observation lends credence to Felix’s hypothesis 2: Dimitri was replaced when he was in Duscur. After all, it was his immediate thought upon seeing the double that the real Dimitri had been left behind and is still trapped somewhere in Duscur. In the absence of verifiable information, intuition can be a potent influence.</p><p>Duscur is a travel-regulated and heavily monitored region. Being the son and heir of Duke Fraldarius is not enough to be allowed into Duscur without a clear and justifiable purpose. The easiest way to get access, Felix thinks, would be as a soldier and not as a noble. With that in mind, Felix decides he must be enrolled at the Officer’s Academy within the next three years. He is already a squire but he needs credentials and accomplishments to gain sufficient rank within the Kingdom’s military forces. Felix won’t need to become a knight if he can gain a less binding military title.</p><p>But if he must – then Felix would become a knight.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A few weeks after their last meeting, Felix and the double accompany their respective knight mentors to Viscount Kleiman’s castle, which is being used as a base of operations to respond to rebellions in the western Kingdom. Felix squires for the third son of House Charon and the double for the second. Avoiding interaction becomes immediately impossible.</p><p>But the double is politely restrained in front of Felix. At first Felix wants to believe that it is because the double has finally internalized the fact that Felix will not budge from his beliefs or disbeliefs. But then Felix realizes it is because he is trying to look dignified in front of the older nobles they accompany – so he cannot allow himself to interact with Felix as an old friend.</p><p>The two of them have dinner together along with the sirs Charon the night before they depart on their mission. Towards the end of the main course, after several rounds of mead to free the tongue, the second Sir Charon laughs and says, “Do you remember that I once met you when you were quite young, Felix? Perhaps six or seven years ago. And – to be honest – I hardly recognized you when my brother introduced you.”</p><p>Felix nods but remains quiet. He has developed a sense for when people will continue talking without any response from him so he knows his lack of reply will not be taken as rude.</p><p>“You look like a different person altogether. Your face especially is completely changed… oh, but I suppose you resemble Duke Fraldarius more now,” he continues, “or as if you’ve stolen Glenn’s face – ”</p><p>“Sir Charon,” Dimitri cuts in. His voice is quiet yet authoritative – austere, almost. He smiles politely and briefly. He does not say any more because no more needs to be said to communicate all he wants to be understood.</p><p>After an awkward pause the second Sir Charon seems to snap back into soberer sensibilities. “My apologies. How crass of me,” he says.</p><p>His younger brother does the courtesy of changing the topic. But Felix’s mind sticks upon realizing that it is him who was apologized to. Until that moment, Felix had not fully understood what the second Sir Charon was implying – once he does, he has to put his fork down and bite down a wave of nausea.</p><p><em>It’s not me stealing other peoples’ faces. Look next to you, not across the table,</em> he thinks. His lips mouth the words but they refuse to be spoken aloud.</p><p>As if in response, the double gives him that hapless smile Felix is becoming dreadfully accustomed to.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>External hypothesis α: It is all but metaphor.</p><p>The “double” is meant to draw distinction between the Dimitri from before and after the Tragedy of Duscur. Perhaps Dimitri died a literary death during that massacre in the same way that one can think about the process of personal growth as a cycle of death and rebirth. As you encounter more of the world and change your values and views, it is as if you reach into yourself and put down your past self – <em>farewell to my former self and may that past me rest well in the cemetery of minds! </em>– because that form of you is <em>no longer quite you</em>. Sometimes you might revisit that old you and leave flowers at their grave, to acknowledge that your former self was important but no longer <em>is.</em></p><p>From this perspective, to grow well is the same thing as the gentle pruning of the self – the same way one must cut back unhealthy branches on a tree to allow livelier sprouts to flourish with yet more vitality. </p><p>According to external hypothesis α, Dimitri was not allowed to grow well; his branches were slashed and burned. These unseen effects manifest themselves via changes in his mannerisms and his way of thinking and how he interacts with the world around him. The changes are so drastic that Felix perceives them as being the mannerisms and way of thinking and interaction with the world <em>of a different person entirely,</em> because what Felix truly mourns is the death of Dimitri’s innocence and childhood – not Dimitri himself.</p><p>If Dimitri looks physically different then it is because purely he is growing up – surely you did not look the same now as you did a decade ago. And it would explain why Felix thinks that Dimitri still looks <em>Dimitri-like</em> despite his belief that Dimitri has been replaced: subconsciously, he realizes that it is likely a teenaged Dimitri will resemble his father.</p><p>Moreover, Felix is coping by any means necessary to the death of his older brother and the changing of his close friend.</p><p>It is necessary for Felix to fall back on metaphor because he has been thrust against his personal will or expectations into a role that he never aspired to. The truth is that he always believed that even in a meritocratic system of inheritance, Glenn still would have chosen to be the duke inheritor. And now that Glenn is trapped in the eternity of death, Felix has no choice but to always believe that henceforth – because he will never be able to compete with Glenn on even grounds.</p><p>He has nobody to talk to. And nobody tells him anything. He is forced into circles of socialization where he is treated as too young, yet unformed, putting his feet into shoes oversized. The fact that he is well-behaved and holds his pride down carefully is disproportionately valued; during a time when personalities change and sensibilities become more volatile, Felix begins to see this less as an advantage and more as a source of shame. When he tells his father, <em>But that’s not Dimitri,</em> the response is: <em>Allow a miracle to be a miracle. </em>And then as an afterthought – <em>Please. </em></p><p>So Felix is likely under a great deal of mental pressure he is not equipped to deal with and that nobody else seems to recognize.</p><p>So we conclude: <em>“It is all but metaphor.”</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>What is there to say about the quelling of the Western Rebellion?</p><p>It is a success. It is quick and efficient. It cannot be criticized for excess. And above all else, it is resolute. No further seditious activities come out of the region.</p><p>What does Felix have to say about the quelling of the Western Rebellion?</p><p>If there is but one thing then it is this: Felix watches the tip of the double’s lance drag through the snow and score that pristine white with the rusting red of drying blood. “Not again,” the double says before he raises his weapon and drives it through an enemy’s chest. Felix hears bones crack and flesh flatten; it would be no exaggeration to say that the soldier’s body is pulverized through sheer force. The double attempts to pull his lance out of the corpse but the point is so thoroughly embedded into the body that it separates from the shaft. The double stares at his broken weapon with desperation so deep that Felix can feel it drown even him from a distance.</p><p>Dimitri looks as if he is in pain. And in response, Felix is profoundly scared – but of what, he is unsure.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A list of physical evidence from Felix’s perspective that Dimitri has been replaced continues.</p>
<ol>
<li>Dimitri shouldn’t wear anguish on his face as if it’s something he is used to.</li>
</ol><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Slowly and carefully, Felix builds a wall around himself with his flesh and his blood. He wrenches a bone from his ribcage and sharpens its edges and point into a curved sword perfectly shaped for him, of him, to protect himself. One cannot be too cautious when it comes to doubles. If he does not reconstruct himself then perhaps something else will. Better to beat it to the punch.</p><p>By the time he leaves for the Officer’s Academy, Felix has fortified himself thoroughly. His efforts bear fruit, because when he finally sees the double again, he attains more success in rebuffing attempts at friendliness than he did in the past. Felix doesn’t manage to dissuade the double entirely but he at least manages to end the conversation quickly.</p><p>“You’re different from how you used to be in so many ways,” the double says. He turns his head and gazes somewhere off into the distance. “But I will always… want to be your friend and companion, Felix. I hope you believe in that… please.”</p><p>“You’re one to talk about being different,” Felix replies before he leaves, the way he practiced: without showing his back to the double.</p><p>As the months pass, Felix doesn’t share any of his hypotheses with his classmates or professors – he is aware of how it would sound. He focuses on his studies and self-improvement as much as he can, because he must graduate and preferably with Church-acknowledged accomplishments under his belt, so that he can get the rank and authority needed to travel into Duscur and search for the real Dimitri. His ardor is mistaken to be a general passion for swordplay and he is content to allow the misinterpretation to go unchecked.</p><p>He continues to hold the double at an arm’s length as best as he can. Some days it is easy; most days it is not – but not for the reasons he had anticipated.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A folk tale from northern Faerghus follows. The title is: <em>The Double-Goer At Dawn.</em></p><p>Once upon a time,</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>From the darkest depths of the forest, a formless double-goer emerged from the shadows and into the springtime light. <em>Who am I?</em> the double-goer wondered.</p>
  <p>Just then, a young woman from a nearby village passed by the double-goer, collecting wild roots in her basket. As she passed by a melted puddle of snow, she paused to inspect her appearance. Seeing the woman’s reflection look back at her, the double-goer concluded: <em>Aha! She is her and the water is her and I must be her as well!</em></p>
  <p>The double-goer waited until the woman drew closer. When the right moment came, the double-goer reached out and swallowed her into its formlessness. Nothing upon nothing enclosed around her body and wrenched her heart from her body. Then it slipped on her skin and stole her memories and took her form.</p>
  <p>The double-goer walked back the way the young woman had come and came across her home village. Her lover, the blacksmith’s apprentice, exclaimed upon seeing the double-goer: <em>You have returned! </em></p>
  <p>The young woman’s heart beat faster inside of the double-goer.</p>
  <p><em>My dear, I have returned,</em> the double-goer replied.</p>
  <p><em>I waited for you,</em> the blacksmith’s apprentice said.</p>
  <p>The double-goer smiled. The blacksmith’s apprentice kissed her cheek. And they resumed their usual lives, passing their time happily if humbly. The apprentice became the blacksmith; the double-goer became a mother. Such peaceful days they were that eventually the double-goer became wracked with guilt.</p>
  <p><em>This life, it was not meant for me!</em> the double-goer thought, even as her stolen heart swelled with joy watching her child play.</p>
  <p><em>This contentment, it was not meant for me!</em> the double-goer thought, even as she surrendered herself to the embrace of her lover.</p>
  <p><em>This existence, it was not meant for me!</em> the double-goer thought, even as she smiled while watching the sun rise yet again.</p>
  <p>Her lover joined her side and said, <em>My dear, you are always so delighted to see the sun rise. How I love the way you smile as dawn alights. </em></p>
  <p><em>The truth is, my love, I was born in a place of darkness deep. And to escape it, I did what must never be done,</em> she confessed.</p>
  <p>The young woman’s heart beat slow and constant inside of the double-goer.</p>
  <p><em>I am not…</em> the double-goer began to say.</p>
  <p><em>My love, I am not…</em> the double-goer tried again to say.</p>
  <p>But her lover put a finger to her lips and said. <em>I know,</em> he replied. <em>I have always known. Did I not tell you, my dear? I waited for you. Once long ago I was lost in the deep darkness and there I met you, in all your formless beauty. I fell in love with you instantly but you told me to return home and that you would  come to me one day. And now both of us may love each other in the light! </em></p>
  <p><em>Oh, I am so happy</em>, the double-goer said, even as she cried.</p>
</blockquote><p><br/>
The end.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“It reassures me sometimes that you think I might not be who I claim I am,” the double says.</p><p>Felix does not look up and continues sharpening his sword. It is not worth neglecting the maintenance of his weapons to leave the training grounds while it’s just the two of them. He has grown tentatively used to the double’s presence. Nowadays, Felix can read his nonverbal tells as well as he once could the real Dimitri’s. Many of them are similar but not the same.</p><p>Besides – he can tell that the double will continue talking even without hearing a response.</p><p>“It makes me feel as if you are truly seeing me,” the double continues, “and even though I wish to hide all the distasteful parts of myself… a part of me is relieved that somebody acknowledges who I am as a whole. Maybe you’ll find this strange… but sometimes when you look at me, it makes me think that I should try harder to be more – I don’t know.” A pause. “That I should act in a way that would make me more worthy of your consideration…”</p><p> “That’s not it,” Felix replies. “That’s not what you’re doing. When you <em>act</em> at all – ” a spark flies from the contact point of his blade against his whetstone “– that’s not what I wish you would do.”</p><p>Dimitri tilts his head to the side slightly; Felix can tell he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t want to clarify because it feels somehow like he would be losing something by doing that. So instead Felix sighs and shakes his head.</p><p>“Whatever. I knew you wouldn’t get it. I’m leaving now,” Felix announces.</p><p>Felix sheathes his blade and returns it to its usual place before he turns to go, almost forgetting to be careful not to expose his back to the double. When he glances over his shoulder he notes that the double has not moved and the brief but intense flash of paranoia that struck through his body dissipates.</p><p>The double, noticing Felix’s glance, smiles slightly at him and nods in his direction. Besides that, he has done nothing.</p><p>“Take care, Felix,” he says.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Take care,</em> he says. Is that compassion?</p><p>Or is it a warning?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Felix’s hypothesis 3: It is the real Dimitri after all.</p><p>He has the Crest of Blaiddyd. What more is there to say? Is that not proof undeniable? Surely Felix doesn’t have to explain that sometimes when he watches the maybe-double his body feels almost as if it is not his own – and then he realizes that he simply feels like how he once used to, unrestrained and unburdened. These brief spasms of weightlessness are agonizing not because of what they are but because of what comes after: he always returns to reality.</p><p>He has the blood inheritance of the royal line. And he has the strength that House Blaiddyd’s scions are famous for. Felix used to watch Dimitri pick up boulders as if they were nothing and worried that about the possibility that Dimitri was normal and he was too weak until he confessed to Glenn his fears and his older brother gently laughed them away. Once, Dimitri picked Felix up and off the ground and the vertigo he had experienced – it was so thrilling yet for reasons unknown even to himself, tears came to his eyes. Nowadays, Felix sometimes feels that dizzy, sharp inertia simply watching the maybe-double, like he is either falling or fallen – from where or to whence or for whom, he chooses not to think about.</p><p>It could be the real Dimitri. Maybe. Perhaps. Felix knows there is a way to confirm or deny this hypothesis – only this one, out of all his theories – but he cannot bring himself to try his methodology. For that reason, he both loves and hates it the most out of all his hypotheses.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Four days later Remire Village burns and everything begins to unravel.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A list of physical evidence from Felix’s perspective that Dimitri has been replaced continues.</p>
<ol>
<li>The potential double cannot taste anything. Felix theorizes this could be a general deficiency of doubles. After all, they are only pretending to be human; it would make sense that there are parts of humanity that are relatively more difficult to imitate. The enjoyment of food is a uniquely human one, after all – what other species alive has a notion of cuisine?<br/>
<br/>
Though Felix has not taken the measures necessary to prove it definitively to himself, he is almost certain he is correct through observation. When the potential double eats, he consumes with artificial evenness. No matter how a particular meat dish might be cooked, he chews each bite exactly the same number of times; the same goes for vegetables and pastries and every other category of food that Felix has watched the potential double eat.<br/>
<br/>
And he doesn’t smile after eating the meals that Felix knows to be Dimitri’s favorites. Sometimes the corners of his lips go upwards but the expression in his eyes remains clouded over.<br/>
<br/>
</li>
<li>Every once in a while, he would look like he was in so much pain – like something was about to come bursting out of his chest where his heart should be. A human heart shouldn’t be capable of holding in all of that agony. If it could then would that not be a tragedy?<br/>
<br/>
The potential double was careful to only show his torment during the moments in-between when nobody would be watching him. Except Felix, of course.<br/>
<br/>
Sometimes it felt to Felix as if Dimitri was showing that anguish to him and only him. Whether on purpose or by accident, Felix could not tell nor did he want to know.<br/>
<br/>
</li>
<li>He should be here. Dimitri should be here. But he’s not.</li>
</ol><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Felix searches for Dimitri for eight years. For the first three years he searches covertly; for the five following, he is permitted the ability to do so openly. Ardently he searches for Dimitri while trying not to lose parts of himself in the process. Sometimes he doesn’t know which Dimitri he is looking for anymore, the real or the fake, or how even to distinguish between the two. After the crown prince is reported dead in the hangman, Felix takes a dagger and cuts his hair short – but he does not manage to cut away his outgrown feelings along with uneven locks of his hair.</p><p>He continues to search anyway. As it turns out, he finds the double almost exactly where they last parted: just outside Garreg Mach. It makes him wonder briefly if he might someday discover the real Dimitri in quite the same way – <em>you were here all along!</em> – until the immediate dangers of reality rein his thoughts back to more pressing matters.</p><p>The first moment that Felix gets to decide what to do with his own time, he follows the double into the cathedral – but at a distance – almost like a hunter trying not to scare away his mark.</p><p>Carefully Felix places one foot in front of the other as he paces along the perimeter of the pews and feels as if he is standing upon an unnamed threshold. As he stands at the brink, he stares into the other side and observes the existence before him. A cursory inspection allows him to conclude that it would be more accurate to call him a Dimitri-like existence than a double. There is a resemblance of him in the entity’s face and the way he speaks – enough to be deemed <em>Dimitri-like</em> – but the entity cannot be deemed a double anymore. That would run contrary to a double’s very being.</p><p>As if the Dimitri-like existence can sense the weight behind Felix’s gaze, he turns around and looks back. To Felix, the Dimitri-like existence looks not like he is volatile so much as it seems as if the core of him is about to become so dense that his entire body will implode under his personal gravity.</p><p>The Dimitri-like existence is the first to speak: “Do you still think that I am a double?” he asks.</p><p>Felix doesn’t answer.</p><p>“Well,” he says, “at least you don’t think I am an even worse monster now…”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>External hypothesis β: Everything is real and every word is the literal truth.</p><p>It is improbable but not impossible that Dimitri has been replaced. Even the matter of the Crest of Blaiddyd is not inexplicable because <em>we </em>know that there are ways that Crests can be transplanted. It would also account for other divergences in his appearance as compared to Felix’s mental trajectory for Dimitri’s expected growth.</p><p>There are obvious reasons why one might wish to have the heir to the Kingdom replaced. All can be expressed succinctly as follows: power and authority. One could rule the Kingdom from the shadows or cause its collapse. So a motivation and a means are both clear and present. Finally, the opportunity for the switch is clear: it would have been during or after the Tragedy of Duscur. Combining all these factors, it is possible that a theory purporting that Dimitri has been replaced by a double is correct and reflects reality.</p><p>Suppose that this theory is true. Then a dreadful corollary immediately follows – one which Felix knows but refuses to acknowledge – the true Dimitri is most likely dead. There would be no benefit and many risks from allowing him to live.</p><p>A compelling alternate theory also exists in which the presence of the double is not inherently suspect. If in the Tragedy of Duscur the only heir to the throne had been lost, there would have been reason for the high-ranking nobles of Faerghus to conspire to have their dead prince replaced with a living double. The motivation and opportunity now are clear and present. The means still exist, although this theory lacks any stance on how they were implemented – it merely acknowledges that it was possible.</p><p>In either case, the existence which has replaced Dimitri must be an imitation with certainty. But he would also undoubtedly be <em>real.</em></p><p>What matters more: being true or being real?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Records of the time will paint the tale of the Savior King with a more human touch than the stories passed down about figures with comparable status like the King of Lions or the King of Liberation. The legends about kings prior are told as a triumphant narrative – their characters and ambitions are held nonpareil. Even their shortcomings are recounted as worth lauding, such as being quick to anger on behalf of their comrades.</p><p>But when future historians speak of the Savior King, they will speak of his flaws with thoughtfulness and nuance. Personal accounts will repeatedly show that the Savior King himself was not afraid to talk about his own weaknesses and failings; if anything, he was more forthcoming with them than he was to sing his own praises.</p><p>There will be many different interpretations of his actions; as new understanding develops on how the mind works and people nurture a growing vocabulary on how to speak about different mental states, it will become commonly accepted that the Savior King was likely affected by unseen disorders that the people of his era simply did not yet have the ability to comprehend. It is not that his contemporaries were dispassionate of his circumstances – it is that they were ignorant of the primitives necessary to frame them in a way that they could understand.</p><p>Regarding the period of time immediately following the Kingdom’s forces rallying around Garreg Mach, they would say things like: <em>When I remember how he behaved during that time, I wonder if he was possessed. </em>Or: Could<em> it have been the work of dark magic?</em> Or: <em>It was as if he were a different person entirely. </em></p><p>It will also be recorded that despite their youthful conflicts, the Duke of House Fraldarius stood ever resolute by the Savior King’s side. Many historical theses will someday state something with the spirit of the following: <em>Letters from even the last few years of his life show that while he never fully understand the king, he accepted that full understanding was not necessary for him to demonstrate a uniquely fierce kindness towards the king. </em></p><p>Of course history cannot account for all the personal details. Whether or not the fact is important, it will not be recorded for posterity that Felix ever believed that Dimitri was replaced by a doppelgänger.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Even still Felix yearns to be with “him”. Despite everything Felix cannot stop worrying about “him”. Felix has an intuition that if he tried to sever the connection between them, then his entire life will have been for naught. It would be as if he were a sparrow who chose to cut his own wings off; it would deprive him of something fundamental to his very being. What would a Felix without “him” look like, live like, <em>be</em> like – would he even truly be Felix anymore?</p><p>As the Dimitri-like existence slowly recovers his form, Felix cannot help but think these kinds of thoughts. They do not plague Felix through incessance, though – it is more as if he is being watered in a gentle if persistent rain.</p><p>Though they don’t need to, the Dimitri-like existence asks permission to retake Arianrhod. He calls the city by its nickname: <em>The Silver Maiden.</em> The way those words sound when they are shaped by his careful enunciation has that same lisp of melancholy which Felix first heard years ago, but either there is now something quietly prideful lurking underneath or Felix has learned to listen past that subtle sadness.</p><p>When Felix steps foot in Arianrhod, immediately he feels that there is something fateful about the fact that he is entering the city here, now, like this. His entire body tingles as if electrified by lightning unseen  as he moves towards the city center – he does not know how he can be so certain, but he is sure that something important will happen when he arrives there.</p><p>Nothing special happens.</p><p>But the Dimitri-like existence is there. He commands his battalion with a calm yet fierce presence, voice carrying clearly over the sounds of battle. His voice catches only for a moment, when a soldier near him is struck by an arrow – Felix sees Dimitri hesitate clearly before looking around as if confused – their eyes meet.</p><p>Suddenly the Dimitri-like existence reclaims his proper shape. He raises his lance to rally his battalion into an offensive formation. Felix, for his part, follows his lead.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A thought experiment was posed by an advisor of the Kingdom of Faerghus’s royal court circa Imperial Year 880 which eventually became known as “Kyphon’s knife”. The setting is as follows:</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>Several weeks ago, I had the honor of meeting the young Duchess Fraldarius. As we were at a knighting ceremony, she was dressed in her full ceremonial garb. I noticed that she wore a dagger which did not appear ornamental. Upon commenting upon this, the Duchess Fraldarius informed me that in fact the dagger is one of the heirlooms handed down to the dukes and duchesses of House Fraldarius – and that it originally belonged to none other than her preeminent ancestor Kyphon.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>“Forgive my rudeness,” I said to her, “but the dagger does not look as aged nor as used as one might imagine it would be.”</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>“In my great-great-grandfather’s time, he had the hilt replaced. And during my grandfather’s time, he had the blade replaced,” she explained.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>My confusion must have been apparent because she laughed gently and said, “I know what you’re thinking. Can it even be called Kyphon’s knife anymore? If not, then when precisely did it stop being Kyphon’s knife? I have wondered quite the same myself.”</em>
  </p>
  <p><em>“Yet certainly it would not be</em> wrong<em> to say that it is Kyphon’s knife,” I replied, “though I also cannot say whether it is correct.”</em></p>
  <p>
    <em>“Shall I tell you something even more odd?” she asked – then proceeded without waiting for my answer. “Both the original blade and the original hilt have been kept. Of course the blade is dull and the hilt is worn… but sometimes I wonder if perhaps I had a craftsperson carefully chip away the rust and rot, surely she could make a new – if smaller – dagger out of it. Which one would be Kyphon’s knife? Could it be both? Or perhaps it would be neither.”</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>I had no answer. But I did realize something so important that its impact registered at an unparalleled magnitude upon my life: the young Duchess Fraldarius was so charming in all ways that I fell in love with her on the spot!</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Indeed, the fifth duchess of House Fraldarius is reported to have married an advisor from the royal court of King Reynaud Leonidas Blaiddyd.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When the war ends, Felix officially inherits the title of duke and is thoroughly decorated with military accomplishments. There remain very few people on the continent who would have the ability to prevent him from traveling to Duscur and none of them would bar him entry. So he could – with relative ease – finally search for Dimitri in Duscur.</p><p>But he doesn’t. Felix leaves home only to travel to Fhirdiad. There is something he must search for there instead.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“After all this,” he asks, “do you still think that I am a double?”</p><p>Felix answers, “I don’t know.”</p><p>He doesn’t know if the man before him is same physical entity as the original Dimitri or not. Nor does he know that it matters anymore. If Dimitri had been at the age of fourteen, Felix has known the double for eight years. It is a period of time not inconsiderable.</p><p>“We could settle this. Ask me a question that only Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd would know the answer to and judge who I am based on what I reply with,” says the man before Felix.</p><p> It is a straightforward solution that has occurred to Felix before but it is not a simple one in practice. It must be a question that Dimitri would certainly know the answer to but that an imitator would not be able to easily guess, which suggests that the question should be about a shared memory. But then he must pick a memory that both of them are able to recall both accurately and in detail and such that their recollections of the events have not changed with time.</p><p>He does not pick his question in a matter of minutes. It is a question that has taken him almost nine years to properly form.</p><p>“When was the first time I told you, ‘<em>I love you</em>’?” Felix asks.</p><p>The man in front of Felix smiles and replies without hesitation. “The first time I have heard you tell me those words exactly,” he says, “was just now.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>External hypothesis γ: It doesn’t matter if it’s metaphor or if it’s real. What would knowing that change? Only what you believe. Only what you think you have perceived. After all, this little world which the two of us have created together as a writer and an interpreter of words may support whichever – if either – that you prefer to be the truth. It could be metaphor. It could be real. It could be both or neither or sometimes one, sometimes the other.</p><p>So what shall it be?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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